I struggle to be present.
To give all of me in every moment, completely exposed,
Bottled up emotions ready to implode,
Censored speech and actions, concerned with repercussions,
Lost in my life, a drop in an ocean.
Not sure who I am, and what is it that I love,
Often forgetting my soul, and my Lord up above,
Yearning to break free from the shackles of fear,
Always myself, not just with those I hold dear.
Like a child in a womb, embraced by its mother,
I long to find the me inside myself,
To live each moment as though it was my last,
To pray for my future, and learn from my past.
So I struggle.
Fighting the resistance controlling my head,
Searching for me amongst the chaos instead,
Finding solace in God, the One who knows me best,
To be present. That is my test.